Have you ever found yourself falling for a man you were dating and wondered if he was feeling the same way? Did you find yourself trying to prove what a great catch you are by being sweeter, funnier and smarter in hopes that he would fall in love with you? Focusing on what a man wants and ingratiating yourself in this way may feel like the natural thing to do, but it's the worst way to try to make a man feel romantic love for you.

Love isn't a reasonable emotion - and being “nice” and “understanding” and “a good sport” won't get you where you want to go. 

Here are some ways that will:

Tip#1: Don't give a man more than he gives you

Love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever, is all about you being able to receivelove.

Most of us only know how to give. We give for lots of reasons - because we're taught that's the way to get to a man's heart (it isn't) because we see other women do it, and because deep down, it feels uncomfortable and scary to be vulnerable enough to really get love.

“A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives.”

A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.

Tip #2: Don't give away exclusivity if he hasn't yet committed

We become totally, emotionally invested in a man when we're exclusive with him because he has all our time and attention. There's no way we can stop wondering about where the relationship is going. But the more we think about it and talk about it, the more we push a man away.

When you can think of it in these terms, it's easier to keep your options open and keep your personal power in the relationship. Rather than talking about the relationship or threatening him with ultimatums, you can continue to keep your options open bydating other men. This way, you keep your class, your power, your boundaries, and he has to work to get you!

Tip#3: Don't give him gifts, make him dinner or pay for dates

Yes, this sounds unfair, and yet, who pays is often the difference in his mind between friends hanging out together and a “date.”

If a man complains about paying for everything, let him know you don't care what you do, you feel great being with him, and you don't want to pay. Walking, hanging out in bookstores, having a picnic in a park can all be fun, romantic ways to get close to a man.

(And forget about cooking dinner, or trying to make dating “reciprocal.” A bowl of popcorn and something to drink is fine.)

When you give a man gifts, give him all your attention and energy, and give MORE than you receive, you're OVERFUNCTIONING.

Overfunctioning is doing more than your fair share and stepping up to rescue a man because you know you can do a better job. It's arriving from your masculine energy. It feels aggressive and forward to a man. And it's totally unattractive to him.

In my newsletter, I explain exactly why overfunctioning triggers a negative response in a man, and what to do to stop doing so much and instead get more love and more affection from your man by doing LESS.

When you sign up for my FREE dating and relationship advice newsletter, you’ll learn:

• Simple Tools you can do that really work to transform your own love life - whether you’re single and looking for Mr. Right, or already in a relationship and want to reclaim the intimacy you once had
• How to step out of the “doing” role in your relationship and into the more feminine energy “feeling” role that is so alluring and magnetic to a man
• A three-step formula for communicating your feelings to a man in a way that will actually make him want to come closer to you and share his own feelings - you’ll never have to walk on eggshells or hide the real you again, and he’ll fall more and more in love with you for it
• The specific words and body language that will make a man irresistibly attracted to you - and how to raise your self esteem so you feel good no matter what he does
• How to open up yourself to receive instead of give so that your man wants to shower you with love and affection